10 Month Old Hates People!!

Hi Robyn:
Your daughter doesn't know what the word HATE means.She's flattering you,her dad,grandma,and your close friend,by displaying her full trust in you.Its funny,because I've heard from both sides of the spectrum. I've heard a mother say..."My daughter will go to any stranger,or babysitter,and when I pick her up,she acts like she doesn't even want to go with me" Nobody,expects a toddler,to be aggressive,or friendly. Frankly,I'd worry about a child,that is so outwardly friendly. Your daughters reaction to others,would tell me,that she receives sufficient love and attention from those closest to her.As she matures,and realizes,that others can be trusted,and that by being more outgoing,and receptive to others,will gain her more attention,she will change.She is her own special little person,with choices.Don't try forcing her to be someone she is not,or make her feel guilty,because she doesn't want to entertain or amuse others. Right now,you few, are whom she feels safe with.Thank God,that she is so selective.You can feel somewhat secure knowing,that she wouldn't walk off with a complete stranger.Don't expect so much from her.Shes still very young.She has all the time in the world to make friends. I wish you and your LOYAL daughter the best. J. M

stranger fear can be with family not just strangers. my daughter when through a phase where she only wanted mama not daddy or anyone else and if someone tried to walk away with her she would scream as if she was being hurt. they have to understand that your daughter like them has a comfort zone and right now its small. maybe try to have people over when shes fresh from a nap instead of before. this will pass with time. you cant rush it or force her onto others (which im sure you know). my daughter is still wierd about leaving with out me or daddy and shes 25 months. just take it slow. good luck

For children, "strangers" are anyone that they don't know and see often. My son is nearing his second birthday and he still wants very little to do with people that he doesn't know very well. With regards to family members, I have a childrens photo album that I show my son often so that his family that he doesn't see in person all the time he sees often in photos. This has seemed to lessen the fear of not knowing people and being afraid. Keep exposing her to people and it will get better. I know its hard but it is a phase that she will grow out of.

Its all developmental based and is completely NORMAL.
She is not a people "hater" she's just a baby... and at this age... their short term/long term memory is not like ours.
They don't even have "people skills" yet, nor the analytical ability to cope in social situations. AND they are attached to their Mommy. NO problem. Most people who have kids WILL understand that.

My daughter, didn't "like" her uncle when she was a baby and toddler... because his hair was 'scary' to her... it was a big thick gray and white head of hair and unruly like Einstein's... when she got older, she told us his hair scared her. No biggie. They are just kids. It makes sense to them, but not us. All part of growing up.

Also, for some babies, even smells and "vibes" and colors can set them off. They also sometimes don't like when people come too close or put their faces RIGHT in front of theirs... it's too close and uncomfortable for them.
A baby... goes by instinct and survival modes too... so, anything too close for comfort, or loud voices or people getting too close, can set them off. My daughter as a baby was also "noise sensitive" & sensory sensitive...ANY loud noises or large groups of people un-nerved her and she would scream! Its fine. That is the way she was... we can't force her to like big crowds or noises. Each baby is different. My daughter hated when someone familiar or stranger, would go right up to her and look at her in the face closely and coo "oh how cute...what's your name? How old are you? " I mean gee, a baby can't answer those questions and to have a person put their face inches away from your face, (even for me) is a bit irritating. People tend to do that to babies for some reason.

So, I would just tell people my child does not like CLOSE abrupt "in your face" type interactions yet... she is JUST a baby and she is having 'stranger anxiety.' No need to apologize.

The thing is, go according to your baby... they all have their own temperament and development. It is better to have a baby/child that is like this, than a baby who has NO 'fear' of strangers... because then they will just to go ANYONE willingly.
I was told by my Son's Speech Therapist (who is also a Child Development Assessor) that THIS kind of 'behavior' is actually a "MILESTONE" in a baby... and its a good thing. She said, that she would actually be worried if a baby did 'not' react that way... because then it would indicate a developmental issue/problem. A baby even this young, is having a sense of themselves and instinctively KNOWS who their "mommy" is and primary caretakers... it also shows 'bonding' appropriately. SO, your daughter is normal and behaving appropriately per this developmental "milestone."

Its all about ages & stages and developmental phases. Lots more will come up.

All the best, your girl is fine... do NOT feel 'horrible' because your baby is uncomfortable around others. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE or make excuses for her. She is just a normal baby developing well.

Good luck,
Susan

My son was like this big time at that age. M., Pops (grandpa), Abba (grandma) and sister were about it. Slowly, very very painfully slowly, with repeated exposure to family and friends, he eventually came to accept them also. I've read the other responses and will not repeat what they already said. Just give it time.

Robyn,
I am just echoing what others have written - I have 10 month old twins and yes, stranger anxiety is part and parcel of the 10 month old agenda! It is a sign that they feel bonded to you - so don't be alarmed...it's a stage and she is just expressing that she wants only those close to her...(=
Take care,
A.