10 Month Old Crying in Car

Most of the time my son cried while driving during the daytime was because he'd drop his pacifier and couldn't reach it, or he wanted his bottle or a snack. If I could pull over and get his pacifier, he'd usually calm down. But of course, it never failed, I'd be on the freeway or somewhere I couldn't just stop to get him what he wanted.

Then we got a CD of the original old 1960's version of "The Chipmunks" from "Santa" and that really did the trick for us. The minute I'd turn on the CD player, their goofy voices would make my son just totally stop crying in an instant, and after pausing for a few minutes, he'd just laugh himself silly.

I also had this soft scultpted Fisher Price steering wheel that had lights and music for my son while he was in the car. It came with a little remote control so you could turn it on from the front seat, and that would soothe him sometimes too. I think they still make these. I got mine at Target about 3 years ago. It's a nice size and can be mounted anywhere, even to their high chair or a doorway bouncer.

It was about 10 mos I noticed he was especially wary of riding in the car in the dark. The shadows from the street lights, especially the ones on the highway would really scare him. He wouldn't stop crying until I'd turn the lights on inside the car. This made driving for me rather difficult because I couldn't see as well, and people in other cars would look at me like I was odd, but it would get my son to stop crying.

He was very skirmy in shopping carts and would try to climb out, and sometimes would try this in his stroller. I had good luck with those soft covers made for shopping carts. I had one made by "The First Years" and it had chew toys, rattles, and squeaky animals sewn to it, and that would keep him pretty busy. And for the stroller, I had two different stroller "bars" with soft toys sewn on them that kept him occupied sometimes too. One was by Lamaze and the other was by Infantino. Sometimes, I had to just give in, and carry him around to get him to stop.

Booster seats and high chairs were totally out, and then I got this really neat fold up booster chair (kind of looked like a mini-camp chair) made by a company called Regalo, and he liked this alot. I think because it was more chair like, and the safety straps were less visible and restrictive. It was very safe and secure. It was a gift, so I don't know where it came from. But I take it everywhere and love it.

I remember that phase of my children's development...and it's so stressful to drive with a crying, distraught kid. I have two things I did to pass along to you:

1. I bought toys/books for my kids that were only in the car. The items were special to them because they never came in the house and were never played with out of the car. The items kept their attention and kept them busy.

2. If that doesn't work and you're only going to the store or on errands (not on long trips), just sit back and know that your child isn't crying out of pain and is really OK. A friend told me that when my first was crying in the car. Remembering that doesn't make listening to the crying pain-free, but it does help ease the guilt of feeling like a neglectful parent.

Remember, this is just a phase, like everything else in parenting, and will be over before you know it! Best of luck!

As another suggestion, have you checked the straps to make sure they're not scrunching his shoulders too much? With our daughter, we finally realized she just needed the straps moved up higher in the back of the seat...then rides in the car were pleasant again!

That's exactly why he's crying! Welcome to the first phase of hating confinement. LOL! My daughter hated me putting her in her snowsuit or being strapped in the car. Key is to provide distractions so that he forgets he's confined. I would calmly talk to her about safety as I buckled her in and then kept calmly talking to her as I buckled myself in that I was also securing myself so I was safe. I would have a juice cup on hand and toys for her to play with to ease her discomfort. Now she knows the drill. At 2, she's going through an independent phase and will sometimes not want to be buckled in, but she lets me do what I have to do and now she's old enough and responsible enough to have snacks in the car so it's even easier. I'm sure the other moms will have good tips for you to try too, but this is what worked for me.

Angie

It is just a phase, and it will pass. Both my boys did it around 9/10 months, and both stayed rear facing until 20+months. Have special toys that are only for the car. Limit pacifier usage to only the carseat, get a mirror so he can see you, and if he's in an infant seat, purcahse a convertible so he can sit more upright and see out the windows better. Remember to keep him rear facing to the rear facing wieght limits of his carseat, convertibles will rear face to 33or 35lbs. He's not fussy because he's rear facing, he doesn't know any better. He wants to move around and he can't do that.

As for the stroller or shopping cart, get a snack trap container and put cheerio's in it to keep him entertained. He'll have fun trying to get them out and eating them. :)

just an FYI...when i've taken my 9 month old out of the carseat to comfort him, it gets WORSE when he goes back in.

These are great suggestions. . .we had one of our 4 that was like this. He is now 8 years old. My suggestion isn't as much for the car/traveling question as it is for relieving some of your stress that goes along with the situation.

If your son is anything like ours, be sure and have the book "The spirited child" on hand. This book got me through some rough moments with my very spirited boy (who felt confined in just about anything. . .swaddling blankets, cradle, car seat, crib, his own little body!!) LOL!!!
Hopefully you won't need the book, but it is a great read whether your child is 'spirited' or not!
Good luck!
J.

Make sure you pull over and take him out of his seat to comfort him and give him a break because he needs to know you are there for him. That's a good use of 'rest areas'. Perhaps you would want to get a portable dvd player for him to watch the teletubbies on, if things are really getting unbearable for you both. Television for a child that young is not healthful but then again he's in a car for enough time to upset him so it is already a losing situation. Is it necessary to have him in the car with you every time, or can you get one of your friends to take him while you run errands? Just some thoughts. He will grow out of it as long as he knows his feelings are important to you, and the healthiest way to show him this is the most basic manner (i.e., show him with your nurturing response to his stress).

As for the stroller and wagon situation, how about getting him one of those little scooter things (and a helmet of course) they make for toddlers so he can use his newfound mobile skills? He can use his feet to scoot where you are walking to. You definitely won't get where you are going any faster but you'll have a happier traveller. It sounds to me like he is growing out of being a baby and really wants to explore his independence.

I know my 11 month old is mad cause she is rear facing. I'm thinking of turning her around early because of it. try getting him an interesting toy that lights up and makes noise to play with. Good luck:-)

Something free you can try is EFT. It is like acupuncture WIHTOUT needles. http://www.emofree.com/ I used it to relieve my son's anxiety when he first started reading and was struggling. (I use it for me too.)

I've had many moments like this. I took my kids to several Music Together classes and both my girls really enjoy listening to their music in my car. I think any kiddy music will work. Sometimes it helps to sing along and tap to the beat and maybe your child will follow. I'd also suggest those travel doodle pads.

I have found a couple CDs that my daughter will loves listening to in the car and will calm her down immediately. Maybe something he's used to hearing while spending quality time with you or participating in a fun activity. You could also have a special toy box that is reserved only for the car. I have a small plastic box on the floor by my daughter's seat that has toys in it that we leave in the car so there's always something to entertain her- or snacks. Good luck! I'm sure you'll find something that works for him.

Do you have any toys that are only car toys? Or out & about toys?
At that age he may think it is new everytime which may hold his interest for the car ride.

A.,

Aside from giving him something to do and something to listen to - radio, classical music, etc. - he is just going to have to learn that riding in the car seat is a part of life. My kids went through it about the time they became mobile, too. They all got over it eventually, he will, too.

Good luck,
S.