I understand how hard it is to let your children cry. When it comes to discipline issues and dealing with sickness, raising a child is very challenging. However, it is called "tough love." Kids will cry and scream to try out how it would take before us parents will give in to what they want. If they are fed, clean, rested, and not well, they can cry. There are times when they have colic pains, and there is medication for that. We make sure they are fine in every aspect mentioned above.
I'm concerned about your comments, "I can't make her happy." I'm glad you are aware that kids are smart and can identify that your baby is manipulating you. When my baby was that age, a friend of mine asked my husband, "who is training who?" That made me think! Years later, I found out of an emotional disorder called "RAD" (Reactive Attachment Disorder) with my 12-year-old. At the beginning I did not see how RAD could apply to my son, but later on, (per my own experience) I have found that RAD can be developed too by lack of discipline and, as any other situation, it is better when it is addressed sooner rather than later.
Kids need both love and discipline. Kids will push their parents to the limit but remember that parents are the ones in charge. If your baby cries and screams because she does not want to eat, I would move away everything around her space so that she would not brake it, and I would leave her there until she is willing to eat. Eating is important! If she does not eat when she needs to, she'll be hungry all the time, therefore, if this need is not taken care of, she'll cry all the time to fulfill this need.
This is part of what creates RAD. The primary care giver does not address the right need in the baby. This creates black holes in the baby's brain that don't allow neurons to connect to each other and deliver the message. These neuropaths are broken and the message drops and never gets delivered.
As the baby grows up, the learn not to trust adults and think they have to survive on their own and start the power to control. This seems to be the case with your daughter. You are still on time to control this. I found out when my son was 10-years old and I will struggle with this issue the rest of my life. Please do not let this happen to you.
When you feed her bottle, you may want to make sure that you look at her eyes with every single drop of love that you have for her, cherish her cheeks, and talk to her, sing to her, and make sure that she looks into your eyes while do you all of these. While she sucks the bottle, this sucking motion also helps create neuropaths in the brain.
Dr. Kathy Jarvis has helped me a lot with my son. You may want to give her a call. Her phone # is ###-###-####.
I wish someone had told me about this LOOOONG TIME AGO!!!