10 Month Old Baby Sleeping Issues

Hi M.,
I read "Secrets of the Baby Whisper" and it worked for my son. You have to read the whole thing, but she promotes a process of placing your baby in the crib and if he cries, pick him up, but only until he stops crying, then immediately lay him back in the crib. You must be prepared to pick him up many, many times at first, but after three nights my son began to put himself to sleep after I layed him in his crib. at 13 months I do not have issues with him going to sleep and sleeping through the night. I read this book when he was between 5-6 months. Good luck!

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I think I would question why you want to move him to his own bed. Is it because you need your own space? Because you think the whole family will sleep better that way? Or just because you think he "should" be sleeping in his own bed? Our babies have slept with us until they were two or so and have transitioned to their own beds without a problem; and we have found that a gradual transition is best.

For instance, you could put him down asleep in his crib and bring him into your bed when he wakes up. Over time, he will sleep longer and longer in his crib before waking up. You could also put a toddler bed or twin bed next to yours. You can sleep with him in his own room and then get up and leave once he falls asleep. Or, you could just enjoy sleeping with him - they are only little for such a short time. The best place for a baby to sleep is wherever the whole family sleeps best. I do like the No-cry Sleep Solution if you feel you need a "method".

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Hi! You need to try to put your baby down in his crib when he is really sleepy and go in and check on him every 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, etc. If he keeps crying, I think you should pick him up and reassure him, change his diaper, see if he has a burp or is hungry (daytime only), then put him back down to sleep. He will get used to it if you keep putting him there. As long as he feels like you are responding to him, he will be fine. Five or ten minutes of crying won't hurt him. Let him figure out that he just might like it in there! I have a 4-month-old and a 5 year-old and have been there! Good luck!

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I used 'Good Night, Sleep Tight' by Kim West. It is a gentle way to teach your baby to self sooth. It doesn't promise not tears, but I was much more comfortable with it than just leaving the room and hearing the screams. It's a gradual approach that may take a weekend up to a week or two. I've used it with both my boys. It is also written in a age specific form, so you can read the parts that pertain to you, but not worry about what to do with a 2 year old. I really liked it.

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You might listen to "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD or borrow the book from your local library if you don't want to buy. Anyway this has been a really good source of information on how to make your child feel safe when you leave him alone in his room at night.

We have a 10 month old too and she has been sleeping in her own crib in her room since she was 2 weeks old per a suggestion from our pediatrician. Anyway, my mother in law came to visit for about 2 1/2 weeks and our daughter was completely taken off her schedule. We had to "train" her back into her routine after the visit. We used the method described in this book- look for an indicator that your baby is tired, put them in the crib for 5 minutes, go into their room soothe them, wait an additional 10 minutes, go in and soothe them again, wait 15 minutes, etc. The first 2 nights we had to go in after 5 minutes to soothe, we never made it to the 10 minute recheck. Now she puts herself down within the first 5 minutes.

This method allows your child to soothe himself and put himself to sleep which is a very important part of a child's development. I think it is harder for the parent to let the child go to make this sleeping transition than it is for the child to make it. But who wants a child still sleeping with them as a teenager and never being able to spend the night at a friend's house? Teach him young and he will have a good foundation and better tools for getting to sleep on his own. Good luck.

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If you want him in his own bed there will be tears. I mean don't you have trouble sleeping when your husband is out of town? When things don't go by our routines we get thrown off and don't like it. There's probably little way to get him out of your bed that won't take tears. My son had trouble sleeping in a pack and play while we were out of town, and he cried. It always takes time to adjust to any new situation. The only way your son can communicate with you about this is to cry. Two nights is probably not enough. You said you feel bad, but were you hurting him or depriving him of life's necessities? Sometimes babies cry, and we have to be okay with that. You are not torturing your son, you are training him to sleep in an unfamiliar place. Good luck!

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I feel for you...
Unfortunetly, the cry method might be the only one, as that is the only way a baby knows how to communicate. You could try standing by his crib until he falls asleep, and slowly but surely, night after night, make your way one step farther away. Your baby is just going to cry for you though, and this will cause you even more grief. The cry method takes more than two days. I would try for at least 5 solid days.
I wish you wel...

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Hi M.,
I also have a 10 month old. What we do is start her out in the crib, and then when she wakes up (around 3 a.m.) we bring her to our bed and she nurses and we move her back to her crib, or she just stays with us the rest of the night. To get her to sleep in her crib to begin the night, we walk and rock her to sleep and then put her in the crib. If she wakes up, we do it again until she is in her crib asleep without waking up. It sometimes takes us a really long time, but now that she's gotten more into what the routine is, it doesn't take as long.
We don't do CIO, and I don't believe that the only way to get your child into their crib is to cry...
Good luck finding something that works for you!

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M.,

You may want to assess your baby's personality. They DO have personalities, even in the womb. The personality he has may influence your approach.

More suggestible kids with more easy going personalities are probably more susceptible to sleep "training." These kids just throw in the towel after a while and do it your way, much to the sleepy parent's delight. Some never put up a fight at all. They just go to sleep without much fanfare. Others fight initially, but then get tired of fighting you and simply learn to go along with your rules, even if they don't really like them. These kids may not be real "changemakers" in society, but they can be really good team players. They may not be leaders, but then again not everyone is born to be a leader. They like to get along. Conflict makes them queasy. Any old approach will probably work for these kids, as long as it is consistent enough to communicate your message to them.

However, kids who have stronger, more determined personalities don't give up easily (these are the changemakers, innovators, etc.). They may show more stubborness and not "fall for" your well intentioned sleep training tactics. They are simply not that stupid and not easily convinced that your way is best for them. After all, isn't it nicer for them to cuddle close and have you near? Why should they sacrifice that? These kids are tough negotiators. You're going to have to make a really good argument (without words of course) to these kids to convince them to agree to being shipped down the hall out of your hair. Even harsh cry it out doesn't usually work for these kids. They simply will not be deterred. They demand more than their easygoing counterparts. They may just get angrier at you, and resent your insensitivity. They may feel betrayal - when I cry, you don't come; when I need you, you don't have the time. They may learn to detach from you, which is not a good thing when you are a parent who wants to be involved in your kids' lives. They are more high maintenance, but the rewards of sticking by these kids can be great. The "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley might be the way to go here.

Good luck!

My 14 month old sleeps with us but she is in her crib for naps and until 11-1 at night. We will not cry it out and instead have been working on gradual change. I took several suggestions from the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers and the No Cry Sleep Solution. I haven't read the Baby Whisperer (for babys) but it might have more age appropriate suggestions. He may protest cry but crying with you is different from crying alone, scared and confused.
What we did was we started with naps. Putting her in her crib and helping her fall asleep by rubbing her back (it took awhile at first). When she got used to that we used it with bedtime (don't forget the routine we do brush teeth, book, paci, crib, prayers). When she got good at that we stopped rubbing her back when she was almost asleep, then just sitting next to the crib. Then each night backed away a bit. And now we just lay her down say night night and walk away till she wakes up. We are going to start working on night waking soon, hers mostly stems from nursing so we will be night weaning following Dr Jay Gordons (only for children over 1 year) advice on that.
I know this way is by no means a quick fix so it depends on your patience level if you want to try this.