1 Year Old Won't Go to Bed After Illness

Updated on May 04, 2008
J.H. asks from Quincy, IL
11 answers

I need some advice. My daughter Ragan is 1 tomorrow and she has been the best baby.She just lays down at nap time and goes right to sleep- even at bed time too. But last week she got really sick. She had rotavirus so she had it coming out both ends and was dehydrated. We let her sleep with us because of the vomiting. Now she won't go to sleep good at all. SHe screams and we have to get her up several times until she finally is so exausted that she goes down. I am so stressed because of her not taking naps good now and then staying up late. Help!!

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C.S.

answers from Wichita on

Have you tried laying down with her? She may want the comfort of you beside her while she tries to sleep. My 4 year old won't even consider going to sleep unless you're beside her at least until she is asleep.

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E.Y.

answers from Topeka on

I've gone through this with my son a few times. Just keep up with your normal routines and eventually her old sleep patterns will return. She may not feel wuite 'normal' yet. I'm an adult and I know that after a major illness I take a little bit to be back to 100%. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

So you must now convince your daughter that she will be ok in her own bed and not get sick (at least right away)-be very honest with her most of all! Talk to her and tell her that her bed did not make her sick and she did not get well because she slept with you while healing. Then you work gently to return her to her own bed. I think you might want to try a "sleep over" in her room- she gets her bed and you aned whomever else you want to come to sleep on the floor-ok if you have a blow up bed or something soft for you it really helps. You must tell her this is only necessary for a few days for her comfort and to show her it really is not the bed doing this to her. Be sure to remind her this is only for a "few" days (you decided-not her) then you must be tough and maybe even use a chart or calander to mark the time. This is one gentle way but it still takes persuasion from you to do the convincing. Let her know when the weather is nice maybe you can all camp out in the back yard or the living room sometime. Sometimes some "white" noise like a soft radio or music player set on a short timer can also make her more comfortable to readjust.

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T.Z.

answers from Topeka on

Is it possible that she isn't feeling completely better yet? If this only happened last week, maybe she needs a little more time to recover and get back into her normal routine. It may be that she acts normal during the day because there is a lot to distract her from the fact that she doesn't feel very well, but when she lays down, there's nothing else going on so she suddenly realizes that she doesn't feel right. Maybe you could try to gently ease her back into her routine. Like start her in her bed and move her into yours or start her in her bed and move her back into hers after she is asleep. Maybe move her bed into your room for a few nights so that she knows you're nearby if she needs you.

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M.I.

answers from St. Louis on

That sounds like when my daughter was 10 months old and caught roseola. It was awful because everytime she cried, because of the fever, I would get up and give her a bottle to replace lost fluids due to a high fever. Anyway, after the virus was LONG LONG gone she was still getting up and wanting that snuggle time. I had to let her cry it out. It took about an entire week, but she's now almost 3 and does wonderful~

Good luck with getting her to sleep again~

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C.T.

answers from Kansas City on

We had the same problem with our son at that age. I took steps to change the pattern. First, I started a very rigid routine for naps and bed. I changed his diaper, read him stories, then I would let him flip the light off and turn his crib music on, last we would sit and rock while he had a bottle or sippy cup of milk until he was done. Then I would carry him over to his crib and pat him on the back for a minute or two and then lay him down with his stuffed animal. I sat beside his crib and sang to him or rubbed his back for the first week until he fell asleep. However, if he ever stood up in his crib I layed him right back down, again and again and again. The second week I started moving away and the third week I sat across the room. Still getting up and laying him right back down, without coaxing, everytime he stood up. Each day it took less and less time for him to relax and go to sleep. Now I can lay him down and walk out.
Your daughter is most likely looking for reassuance and routine, which for kids is reassuring. Good Luck!!

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B.I.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter had rotavirus when she was 17 months old but she actually ended up in the hospital for three days. After the initial worst part of the virus was over she would have days where she was fine but also had mult. set backs. It took her a good three weeks to completely get over the virus. So hang in there she could still be having stomach pains and just feels more secure when shes with you.

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E.N.

answers from St. Louis on

This child may have become frightened by her bouts with vomiting which can be a scary experience, especially to one who doesn't understand. I would suggest cuddling and/or rocking until she can relax for a few evenings and realize that the "flu" thing is not a part of "sleep".
Children of this day and age are exposed to so much that is loud, frightening, and threatening. Even if a parent screens the TV, radio, and music, there is still a lot that we, as parents, recognize as a non-threat. Our little ones have no way of knowing what is real and what is not. Sometimes I think it is remarkable that any of them will sleep alone in a room.

In times past, "bundling" was the norm as houses were poorly heated and families slept together to keep the little ones warm. Our prosperity has allowed warmer, bigger homes where "babies" are placed in rooms long before they are really ready to be alone. Bad dreams can certainly make one afraid to be alone in the dark. Given some time, and cuddling, most children will return to normal sleep patterns.

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K.W.

answers from Kansas City on

This happened to us after a vacation (my son got used to sleeping in bed with us in the hotel room). We used a Supernanny trick: you put her in her crib, and sit on the floor next to the crib. You don't look at her or say anything to her, you just sit there and look down or straight ahead. This way, she is comforted by your presence, but not stimulated at all. She might cry for awhile (our son cried for about 18 minutes the first night, I hear sometimes it is much longer), but will eventually fall asleep. If she wakes during the night, you can go check on her to make sure she's ok, but then do the same thing. After a couple of nights (I promise) she will go back to going to sleep on her own!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I can't rememeber who said it on another post - but it was the most well put way of wording the "fix" that I have heard... "1 week of mean mama - makes for very happy baby and mama (and everybody else) from then on".

Just go back to your old routine.....bath and all. She'll remember.

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J.E.

answers from Columbus on

A great resource for sleep issues is Nancy Bierkemeir (sp?)at the Sleep Medicine and Research Center at St Lukes. ###-###-####. A couple of my friends have gone to see her and got the help they needed. Nancy says that children will learn that they get to stay in your bed after only 3 nights with you. Either you or your husband has to be the enforcer who tells your daughter that she needs to sleep in her room now. Let her cry for 5 minutes then go in, spend only 30 seconds comforting her by patting her back and telling her its OK then leave again. Wait 10 minutes and do the same, but this time don't speak. Do that until she finally gives up. Don't take her out of bed. You basically have to re-sleep-train her. I would give the Sleep Center a call b/c they are a great resource. Good luck!

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