1-2-3 Magic Discipline for 2-12 Year Olds

Updated on February 05, 2009
B.D. asks from Augusta, GA
19 answers

I have a 4 year old son who is quite a handful. he misebehaves at church,school, and especially at home. He yells at me, He kicks, and hits me, he is terrible in restaraunts and other public places. I just bought this book 1-2-3 Magic and am eager to try it. Has anyone else bought this book? and does it work? I am very hopeful and need to turn this around asap. He is out of control. Positive responses only please!!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Athens on

Yes, It works! My kids are noe 9 & 12, but when they were younger I was having problems with some of the same things you are now. My mother, an elementary school counselor, loaned the book & VCR tape (they rpobably hace a DVD by now) so I could learn how to use it. The hardest thing is like with anything else... staying consistant. If you do not, it won't work. My older child would tell me often how nuch he liked the program. The youngest was mostly the reason I used it. Anyway, good luck! This will pass, you will get through it, but how you get through it is extremely important because it will set the tone for what is to come.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a 6 yr old, 3 year old and a 3 month old. I just ordered the book on Friday in regards to my 3 yr old son. He is so different from my daughter. I am anxious to get started. Good luck.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi, The man who co-wrote the book came to Woodstock First Baptist Church and did a seminar on the ideas in the book. I did not buy the book but we have implemented the program with our 3 1/2 yr old and it seems to be working! Our son is very strong willed but he seems to be responding to the techniques. Good luck! If you have any more questions you think I could help with feel free to contact me.

M.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Charleston on

I got this book from the library a couple of weeks ago, because some wonderful ladies from mamasource recommended it. I love this book. I would deffinetly recommend this to you or anyone else. Although I have to say my kids are 6, 10 & 13. I only use it on my younger 2. I'm still reading it and I have been using the method on them. It has been very successful for me. They know if I get to the count of 3, they will be in timeout. My 6 yr old still tests me at times, but since I've started this he's only had to be in timeout twice. We haven't been arguing about what needs to be done or how he should behave,I haven't yelled at them, I just start counting and they stop. I've gotten my husband on board w/this too. He loves to lecture the kids on things. I had to tell him about the book and need to get him to read it also. This way he also know exactly how it works.
So deffinetly read it. If you stick with the method recommended, it will work. You will see a positive change in your household.
Good luck and happy reading.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Savannah on

It is a great book as long as you stick to your guns and stay consistant!! I have a 2 1/2yr old and a 8yr old and this book really took the counting that I already used to the next level. We had a lot of the 'stop' behaviours going on in our house and it was driving me nuts (more so with my oldest)!! This book helped me to reconize them (now before they happen) and to nip it in the bud at the get go. Now I feel that my youngest is always in time out but he has hit a new phase of begging/pleading/badgering when he doesn't get his way. But it is already starting to ease up so I think he is getting the idea! I also got some great ideas for the 'start' behaviours by charging my daughter for when I do her chores!!

You don't mention if you have a hubby/boyfriend in your life, but if you do, please make sure he reads the book as well. My hubby has yet to read it and doesn't get the same response from the kids as I do.

Good luck and happy reading!! After you've finished the book, give it a good month to use the tools you've read about and see how it works for you. Don't toss in the towel at the first signs of frustration.

S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.E.

answers from Atlanta on

I've recommended it on this board many, many times. It's a great book, and was recommended to me by my pediatrician. The key is to remain consistent. You have to read it, your husband has to read it. I'd even give it to Grandma and Grandpa to read if they're around your child a great deal. I think he says in the book--and be prepared--that your child will probably get worse before he gets the point. It will take some time, and you will see results.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Atlanta on

It works great as long as you are consistent. You HAVE to follow through with punishment every time you get to three and stay calm no matter what. It worked great for my daughter when my husband and I made sure to do exactly what the book said, but we are bad about slacking off and arguing with our daughter or not following through. then the problems start again and we have to remind each other to stop arguing with her. We actually came up with a code between us so we could tell each other to shut up and discipline her without her catching on to the fact that we were correcting each other (didn't want it to seem like one parent was undermining the others authority). My daughter was really bad at throwing fits and hitting (when she was 4) and it really helped. Good luck! Hope it works for you!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

I think it works pretty well. I've read the book, and I've also attended a workshop on it. Obviously it's not a miracle cure, but it's a pretty effective tool. The one thing you have to remember is to be consistent-- always follow through. So if you start counting to three (meaning your child will have to go to his room or a time-out spot if you get to three), you have to follow through and really send him to time-out when you get to three. I think it's an easy, effective tool to help with discipline, and it's not a complicated system of procedures to remember or anything. I'd give it a try. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Athens on

I watched a video version on this book/principle of discipline when my adhd daughter was in Kindergarten and 1st grade (the school's copy). She was very defiant, and this type discipline worked best for her and me. She hated time out, she refused to stay in her room alone while not sleeping. The 1-2-3 method worked with her the best of any other discipline. I agree with the others - consistency is the key - and I'm not always that... even now at my daughter's now age of 16. I pick my battles with her and she has turned out a good kid so far... I do wonder about her future on her own though - and especially college that she is saying she wants but follow through is a challenge for her... good luck and best wishes. I do recommend this...

M. B, Danielsville, GA - mother of 4 - youngest 16, married to a dad that helps little with discipline or family decision making.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from Atlanta on

New Life Ministries has a WONDERFUL resource by Drs Cloud & Townsend, BOUNDARIES WITH KIDS. It is amazing and provides an approach you can use at every stage of life with your kids. GREAT stuff!! God bless you as you make your way!! L.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.K.

answers from Atlanta on

I have worked in the Gwinnett School system for over 30 years. This program has been used in the schools I have worked at. I have heard nothing but good comments about this. Our teachers use it and we loan the program to parents. From what I know it does work if you are consistant with the program. Good luck.
S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Augusta on

I have this book and it is a good book but the key is being CONSISTENT!!!!!! I also have the book Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. This book has been life changing for us. I feel like we are working at truly changing the heart behind all of the deviant behavior instead of just trying to "fix" it. Whatever method you choose the key is to be consistent and not give up. Any method requires a time commitment to truly see the benefits, but it is worth it! Being a mom is hard work, your doing a great job by wanting to take control! Bravo!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello~ I never read the book, but some how when I do the counting 1-2-3 it works. My son is nine. All I could tell you is be consistent. I know you've probably have heard it, but doing it is another story. Explain what the consequences will be and follow thru. It's painful for both, but in the end he/she will get it. Don't give up because you're at home. In fact, use that to your advantage so when you do take him out in public it will work. It may take some time and at times seem exhausting, but don't let he/she make the rules. 1 Explain, 2 Inforce and 3 Follow thru with punishment.
Also, don't forget to praise good behavior and say thank you when he/she do well. That's very important. Good luck and best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Savannah on

I tried it and it worked pretty well, at least with my oldest. He was 4 when we started and he's about to turn 6 now. The counting to 3 still works with him. (I have been criticized by a couple of other moms for giving him 3 chances and not demanding obedience immediately, but I don't agree. If 3 chances is what he needs to get back on the right track and if things have improved in my household, then I'll take it!!)
The jury's still out with my 3-year-old though. He's very 3, if you know what I mean. I think every child is different, but this book is definitely worth the read and worth trying. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Atlanta on

Sorry it's been so long since you asked for a response on this. I am a preschool special needs teacher and a mom and I highly recommend 1,2,3 magic. I love the fact that it is non-negotiating, consistent, and predictable for the adult and child. I have watched the DVD which is very long and not so exciting but gives great examples and read the book. I use the program at school, and recommend it to parents and teachers. I plan on using it with my son when he turns 2.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I've not read that book, but I do watch Super Nanny and she's got some great techniques that seem to really work with peristance and consistancy. I think that's the key!

If this book doesn't work for you, try looking into Super Nanny's book. Jo Frost is the Super Nanny.

Best of luck to you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Savannah on

I saw some1 else reccomended Shephearding the Childs Heart by Ted Tripp, it was awesome and life changing for us too. I have not used this book though just be consistent, the great thing is that you are trying, pray for your child often. good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I haven't read that book and my kids are grown now, but I always counted to three whenever I wanted behavior to change and the kids knew if I got to three and their behavior was not compliant, they were in big trouble. It worked well and now they do the same with their children. That said, I also have a grandson who has been diagnosed with several disorders such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Nothing worked with him other than a reward system. At first I thought it was more like a bribery system, but it really works with him, so it doesn't matter, I suppose, if it is reward or bribery as terminology to describe it. A combination of 1,2,3 plus reward for a good decision is the best way to deal with a child who is experiencing more than just the "norm" for this age group. That said, please know that you are not alone in dealing with a defiant three year old -- part of it, at least, is part of the age and how you handle it now will determine a lot in the relationship between the two of you between now and age five. It sounds like you are on top of the situation. good luck to you.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches